I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
