he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
we should paint friendship bongs
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
