He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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