I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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