are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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