So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
