Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
