i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
