She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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