Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
