I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
