I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
