hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
how drunk are you?
Several
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
