Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize