Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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