Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
