This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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