a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
