I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless