It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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