the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
