Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
