So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
