Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
