Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
