Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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