i can't believe i had my finger in that
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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