Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
