I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize