Apparently you make a good broom.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
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Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
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Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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