Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
