i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
