No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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