They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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