Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
