I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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