Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
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On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
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MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....