Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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