My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
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Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
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Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.