I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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