When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
