I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
