so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
