Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
