I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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