So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
