My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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