i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
