I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
