So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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