he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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