I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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