After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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