dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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