2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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