Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
