what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
