I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
