my soul wont recognize me after tonight
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
