I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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