no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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