There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
