Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
