Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
