so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize