I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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